Heal in Time

My heart throbs.

It aches for what once was.

The irony is this:

I left it alone!

I walked away from a painful present situation to allow it to become

But a simple sad memory…

And still,

My whole body aches from this broken heart and this bruised body.

With all the strength of the mind, bearing the scars of others’ sin upon my heart,

I finally commanded my body to walk away from this broken relationship, from this pain named Constant.

After numerous nights of questioning and doubting,

And aching and crying,

I finally created distance between this Constant Pain and I!

“Victory!” I sang.

Yet.

When all seems quiet, when all seems peaceful,

Boom boom, boom boom…

The sound of my heart is what I hear loudly resounding in the cavity of my mind.

To my dismay, I noticed that my body is still swollen from the injuries.

My mind desires nothing more than to leave what once was alone!

Yet, the ache in my body makes this endeavor feel

Simply impossible.

Leaving the past in the past is my earnest desire.

But this unwarranted injury is a reminder that,

No matter my urge, no matter my intention, no matter my effort,

Nothing but Time will heal this bruised body and this broken heart.

O Time! Peculiar character…

One through which we exist,

One without which we cannot!

Being its own entity, it will not be rushed, it will not be pushed.

It heals well, but it heals when it wills

And none can fight its will.

Time has what we do not:

Control.

We cannot walk away from it.

And to make matters worst,

Time plays a game with moments to which only it knows the rules.

Time has its game, Time has its tune.

Time has a rhythm that none can tame.

It created a melody all its own 
Not a note can be changed!

Now then,

If only in Time I will heal,

I must allow my heart be mended,

Moment by moment,

To the sound of a tic and the song of a toc.

I must accept that to the beat of Time,

My deformed body and my battered heart will smooth themselves over

Time’s pace remains and its purpose does not change.

Only Time can choose when the moment is right

To see scars appear where flesh was once raw.

Tic…Toc… Tic… Toc…

This constant sound, it seems, never fails.
As the rhythm of the song never changes,

Whether one sits to listen to the music that Time makes
Whether one chooses to ignore it,

The rules of Time remains:

In Time, what will begin will be ended,

In Time, what will break will be mended.

Ultimately, the truth seems to be that

In Time,

What will be will be.

So, to you my little heart, and to you my bruised body,
I say

Wait on Time.

For in it,

Your body will strengthen
Once more.

Live in the freedom of forgiveness
And let your heart learn to love
Better than before,

This time, from a wiser place,
This time, from a gentler place,
This time with a quiet strength. 

Remember that Time belongs to Him who Is.

Remember that you are His.

Little heart who loves Him, remember!

Remember that He works all things together for your good,

Remember that He is good,

Remember that those scars are not your own.

While your body has lost its strength, 
It was never meant to be strong
On its own.

So to you, little heart I say

In this secret place where He held you many times before.
Lean into His heart and be weak there,

Let Him heal you, mend you, soothe you.

Let Him love you into being

To the sound 
That His clock makes.