Natural Beauty

Showing posts with label Life Changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Changes. Show all posts

Monday, January 18, 2016

Not Just Another Saturday

It was one of those Saturday mornings. Waking up hoping to spend extended intentional time with God because all this week, my time with Him was shorter than I would have wished; finding that I tend to spend more time fighting for alone time with Him than actually enjoying my time with Him. I prayed a little, committed my day to Him and quickly had to start to get ready. There was this event at my church that I was excited to go to: a workshop on learning how to plan your life in line with God’s will. Epic!! I know J

As usual, on Saturdays, I turn my brain off and just want to extend the amount of time I can stay in the cozy of my home, so before I knew it, I was going to be late for a church event on “planning my life” – the irony! To remedee the situation, I decided to request an Uber driver and waited for him to arrive.

The app said that he was coming in 5 minutes, so I decided that this was enough time to scarf down a bite or two before the driver’s arrival. Thankfully, he came a little later than announced, which allowed me to eat to my heart’s content.

When he arrived, he apologized in his foreign accent for his lateness and proceeded to fight with the Google App to get the voice over option to work. He must have been in his late-50s.  A sweet Middle Eastern man with a crown of white hair covering his head and gentle eyes that complimented his face.

Seeing him struggle to get the app to work, I offered to use the Googlemap app on my phone and we resumed our drive to the church. Like in every Uber ride, out of courtesy, I always listen to see if the person is (or if I am) in a chatty mode. Before you knew it, he was sharing his love for Persia, his beautiful country of origin that was taken over by Iran just several decades ago.

The conversation eventually switched to religious views when I asked what the main religion was in Iran. Before answering my question, he first said: “I am not a religious person”. The answer was Muslim. Confident in what I believe and in the God I serve, I did not challenge his view. I simply listened to him share his perspective on the world and about religion as I quietly prayed and waited upon the Lord to lead this conversation wherever He pleased.

To my surprise, when he finished his explanation, he asked me what I thought about religion. I was shocked. In my experience, people are often quick to share their view about the world, bashing the church and religion assuming that their view is educated and accurate; not welcoming other perspectives differing from their own. I was prepared to have a friendly conversation where I would listen more, ask questions, pray and share as much as the Lord put on my heart to speak – very little was my expectation. So his response, to say the least, surprised me.

This said, I accepted his invitation to share my belief and spoke according to 1 Peter 3:15. I explained that for the most part, humanity was born with an innate sense of right and wrong. A small child knows or experiences the traumatic effects of abuse even if no one ever pre-conditioned them to understand that it is wrong. Humanity (as a general rule – aside from those with severe mental or emotional imbalances) understand that murder is wrong, was another example.

I shared how many societies function according to the understanding that there is something in this world that is greater than ourselves. Many cultures have a type of value system which involves religion in some way, shape or form – this comes from the theory of the collective unconscious by Carl Jung. If all of humanity has had this innate reflex to seek to serve the Greater Purpose, maybe something needs to be said there.

As we drove by a hospital, I explained how institutions like these go against the Darwinian survival of the fittest theory that suggest that only the strongest should survive. If it was truly the case, why do we work so hard to find cures for those who are so weak? According to Darwin, these people should not need to live if they cannot do it by their own strength.

I agreed with him that it was wrong for a stream of devout Muslims to lose their lives with the intention of killing others in the name of a god. By I also challenged the fact that there are many devout Christians who accept the path of martyrdom because of their love for God. In these two examples, what is the difference in their response to humanity and death and can we really say that they serve the same God?

I shared with him that I agreed that we should do good actions, love each other, serve each other and be nice to others. I explained how these are the things that Jesus teaches when He says “Love your neighbor as yourself”, He says “no greater love is this than the man who lays his life for his friends”. I shared how Jesus lived by example, loving His neighbors to the point of death on a cross; that He exemplified good actions and serving each other.

I explained how even while we do good actions, the motive can be selfish: I do good because it makes ME feel good. But to do good with a pure motive, we need help from the One who holds pure motives; namely, Jesus-Christ. Jesus laid HIS life for US, sinners. He died for those who put nails on his hands and feet.

We are sinners because we never needed to be taught to do wrong. No one teaches us to lie, throw a temper tantrum or hit our siblings. To the contrary, we need to be socialized to do the opposite of those impulses. The Perfect God created a perfect man to have a relationship with Him. When this relationship was broken by sin, God set a plan to restore this relationship to Him by sending the perfect sacrifice to pay the price: His Perfect Son had to die on the cross for us.

This is the type of perfect selfless love that God calls us to. When we accept Jesus-Christ as personal Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to inhabit our hearts. It is with the help of the Holy Spirit that we are able to love others; not because it makes us feel good, but because God IS good.

Honestly, it felt like the words were just flowing out of my mouth. After a while of talking though, I stopped myself because I wanted to make sure that did not monopolize the conversation. I paused and asked for his thoughts on what I just said. I was curious.

He responded in his thick accent by applauding and saying “I see that you are a lecturer”…. (In my mind, I was thinking: “Oups! That is not what I was going for! Is that a good thing?”) He said that he had nothing to say and agreed with me… which again, threw me aback.

As I listened for a response, and none came, I figured, that it was my cue to keep talking. So I shared about God’s love for us. How He has taught me the best and deepest lessons through long seasons of hardship. That the things in life that were meant to put me down, God turned into good: He used these times to sharpen my character. I explained that God wants us to “be Holy as [He] is Holy”. I explained that just like one must put a raw piece of gold through fire to rid of its imperfections, so must we go through the fire of life’s hardships to come out the other side, purer than we previously were.

We eventually arrived at the church. My blabber-mouth had run out. He parked and said: “I love Jesus!” I was so moved by God’s work in that car! Before I left, I asked if he wanted to accept Jesus into his heart… he said YES! I cried, just humbled by God’s work in this man’s life through me! So speechless that God would use someone like me who does not have it all together! And so, we prayed together that he may invite Jesus be the Lord of His life. Before I left the car, he kissed me on the cheek, thanking me for this gift of obedience.

I am still in awe at the glory of God. Let’s not forget to make every moment a time to be open to be used by God. He wants to use us for His glory. So many siblings in Christ have not yet been awakened. So many brothers and sisters in Christ are not aware of their Loving Father waiting for them with open arms ready to love them as His own. We need to remember that in every situation, in season, and out of season, our expectations and God’s plans are not the same. It is our time of intimacy with Him in the secret place, our study of the Word, our study ABOUT the Word (reading books and commentaries, doing in-depth research, listening to teachers and preachers) that will help equip us to be effective for His Kingdom at all times.

This is the first time I ever led a stranger to Christ. I always had, and still do have the perspective that in the Kingdom, some have been made to sow and others to reap. I always saw those with the gift of evangelism as reapers and saw myself as a seed planter: sowing the Love of Christ wherever I go; letting God work His master plan through the hands of the whole family of Christ all equipped differently to love those who do not yet know the love of God in different ways through independently unique gifts of obedience at different times. But I guess, God can use whoever, whenever. And I guess, roles and seasons in our lives change sometimes.

I am sharing this because a Truth was strengthened in my heart that Saturday. When we are quicker to listen than to speak, to God first and then others, with the help of Holy Spirit, we learn to hear the heart of a person. We learn to hear what they have not said with their words. Our mind is silenced to their words and we allow our hearts listen to theirs. Holy Spirit speaks to the heart. We need to keep our minds quiet before the Lord, not only in the secret place. He is the one who seeks the lost, we are only blessed enough to be sinners saved by grace God chooses to work through to make His glory known. No matter our knowledge, we have nothing to show for; only obedience and humility to express our love to a Gracious and Loving Father.

Now go. Seek His face and let Him work in you, so He can work through you.

Praise be to God!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Failure, a fallible option.

FAIL!
The first word that jumps from the sea of my subconscious when I watch the Everest being planted before my eyes.

"We are more than conquerors in Christ" The first verse that comes to mind to counter this thought.

FALSE!
The first word that my sea of mystery hands to me as I think of calling to the Powerful and Almighty God for help.
And then, awakens my conscious mind to say:

"Ok, I'll try!... a little. I mean, I am made for great things!... but, clearly not that great..."

"YES! I AM a CONQUEROR in Christ!! .. for little things"
"YES! I AM VICTORIOUS! ...in small battles."

... "When I think about it, why try at all?" I finally tell myself.

Oh, Lord. Please break this thought pattern and make Yourself shine break through the lies that unfounded fears and insecurities have fed to me.

OK! BACK TO WORK! ... FOR REAL, this time!



Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Chasing Turning Pages

As I stare down at this book,
I notice the pages of my life
Turning by themselves,
Hurrying at a decided pace,
Ignoring
My own desired pace of life:
Stillness.

I ask myself
If it is me or my body
Fighting off
What feels like
A virus - one
Eating away
At my enthusiasm-
Or, is it simply,
The predicament
Of a stunned heart
Rejecting, the possibility
To turn the page
Rejecting, the possibility
To look upon
The tabula raza of my future
With amity?
Rejecting, the possibility
To gladly look
Upon a bright page of white
Filled
With unforeseen
Promised unexpectations?

When change happened,
I wanted time to freeze.
I tried to make it so,
But failed.
I chose a painless cost,
To make time stop.
Paying with my heart
The price
To passively watch
Reality
Slipping,
And
Racing 
Through, my fingers 
One moment at a time.
(As the sand
Through an hourglass)

Being -frozen in time
Was my intent.
But life -taking its course
Woke me
From a long winter
Of slumber
And stupor
Nature
Made spring arise
As the season of ice
Had to someday pass

As beauty, slowly, awakes,
Now,
I chase after the turning pages
Of a dusty journal,
Trying to write down
The thoughts,
The memories
That make
Loving people
Making memories
And making connections,
A painful endeavour

It seems that
Too many times,
The pages turn
Before I have the time
To even find
The right pen
The right ink
With which
To write
A thought.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Until Next Time, Transition.

Dear Transition,

I hate you. As soon as I see the peak of your nose show through the blanket of my comfort, I know that there will be change to pay.
I know, Transition, that change is normal, that change is what makes life, life. It is what keeps things interesting and helps me grow and mature in adaptation. Still, I hate you.
I don’t like the fact that after the bazillions times that we have met, you still scare me. I have learned to recognize your face, your mannerisms. You egg me on in detaching myself or not attaching myself to what could soon be no more. 
Still, everytime. Everytime I try to find a home in the arms of the present reality, I try to ignore you, Transition. Ignore the fact that you, you, may choose to show yourself at any moment, taking away what I dared to call home.
Oh Transition, I know that you never sleep, you never rest. Still, I wish you did. I wish you did rest but I am thankful you don’t.
Yes, many times you have made me cry and wonder : “WHY?”, but you have made me stronger. You have challenged me to make a choice: “Will I be a victim of life’s mishaps or will I be a student, a student of life?” And as you already know, I have chosen to learn, to be a student of life, and this, with no regret.
Still, the word goodbye hits me like a dagger straight to the heart. Actually, no, I wish it was still the case. I have become numb to the pain. Only in the middle of the night does this pain that I have been trying to ignore the existence of, chooses to scream inside my chest. Like a demon, who will not let go of the hold, I cannot let go of the fear to again have to say it: “Goodbye.”.
Oh pain of Transition, I have tried in so many ways to try to ignore your existence. But you who never sleeps will not allow for such a thing to ever be the case. So, Transition, you have won the battle. You will always win the battle and I will always have something to loose.
But wait. Let me be fair to you. You have also brought good in my life. I have made new friends and learned new lessons that have made me a better person. I have been hurt and I have hurt. I have forgiven and I have been forgiven. Transition, you have thought me, reminded me of my humanity, my fallenness and the beauty of my uniqueness.
In all, Transition, I hate you but I thank you. You scare me and although in this, I have learned to trust God, I still fear you, who are unpredictable. 
Can we ever make peace? Will we ever be friends? Only God knows. All I know is your restless existence. All I know is my restless desire for peace and security. All I know is that these two natures are at odds.
But, when I think it over,peace and security can only be found in God. So why do I try to conquer this desire on my own strength? Peace and security can only be found in God who is outside of time, outside of you, Transition. And, in this, you will never win.
So, never will I ignore your existence as you cannot be ignored. But instead of dreading you, I will make the best of every moment I am given, with every being and condition I am blessed with, at this moment in my life, at the present.
 I will choose to let the present be the gift of the season until you, Transition, choose to hand me another gift filled with unknown laughs, tears, lessons, and relationships.

Until next time, Transition.

Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                              Lily


" Never say good-bye because good-bye means going away, and going away means forgetting."
Peter Pan