When God Wants To Drill A Man

When God wants to drill a man,
And thrill a man,
And skill a man
When God wants to mold a man
To play the noblest part;

When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch His methods, watch His ways!

How He ruthlessly perfects
Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him

Into trial shapes of clay which
Only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying
And he lifts beseeching hands!

How He bends but never breaks
When his good He undertakes;
How He uses whom He chooses,
And which every purpose fuses him;
By every act induces him
To try His splendor out-
God knows what He’s about.

- Anonymous

God's Silence

It’s enough to drive a man crazy, it’ll break a man’s faith
It’s enough to make him wonder, if he’s ever been sane
When he’s bleating for comfort from Thy staff and Thy rod
And the Heaven’s only answer is the silence of God

- Andrew Peterson

Hearing God's voice has been a longing of my heart for quite some time now. As I have tried and tried to practice the skill of silence in prayer and attempted to discern His voice (i.e. His plan for my life), though at times rightfully confused and others wrongly confident, I have come to the conclusion that I desire Him more... This article by Jon Bloom makes an interesting observation on the reason why God may seem silent to us at times. It was quite an encouraging read. As I continue to pursue this quest where growing fonder of the One called Love, letting Him mould me in the image of His Son and as I try to follow the path that He drew for me for His glory; I can remain uplifted and hopeful as I continue to learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and walk on this path that appears to be narrow. Thankfully, I have TRUE confidence that He will never leave nor forsake me. This is why I can say with confidence, The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? (Hebrews 13:5-6)

When God Seems Silent - Jon Bloom

After all this, this is the mystery that keeps me perplexed:
But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. - John 16:13 (NIV)

On that note, I guess more seeking is to be done...

How Great Thou Art (Amazing Version)

Wide is the Way (Matthew 7:13)

What a challenging message. It left me speechless, perplexed and quite evaluative of my own heart and my own motives: What am I truly living for? What does it mean to follow Christ? Am I really wanting to follow Him or is this a spiritual quick fix that I have chosen to embrace? I mean, according to the early psychotherapist Carl Jung, we are all spiritual beings who, according to the collective unconscious need to believe in something. By accepting to "follow" Christ (whatever that means), is my only purpose to make myself feel better, find an answer for what I don't understand, be a good person, try to have a better life and/or guarantee my ticket to Heaven?  Did I just pick Christ because He is the One I grew up knowing or is Christ crucified (the Son of God), who rose from the dead (and is now ALIVE and dwelling in Heaven), the Lord that I choose to serve?

One cannot serve two masters. I will either love myself or love my God. But the reality is that I am at war with myself in order to be able to love my God. I want what I want when I want it how I want it. And God, the engineer and maker of the universe wants me to be His, period... He wants to be the One I want, at all times, in everything. How badly do I want to be His? How badly am I desiring to live for and serve Him?

In retrospect, a person in love wants to share with the world the love that they have for this special someone. Why is it that we are surprised that when a person encountered the love of Christ and truly experienced and embraced it, desires to at their turn, share it with the world? God loved us first did He not? He shared this message of Love to the world, and at our turn, the Lover of our souls desires to see us do the same for Him... so why? Why do I find it so hard? Why is receiving His love and intentionally sharing it with the world so challenging?

If you've been reading some of my blog and think I'm a little off sometimes about this God stuff, here's a little soul searching for you that may help you understand where I'm coming from:
1. True or False. At the end of the day, when I am alone with myself, away from distractions, there is this whole in my heart that feels infinite and seems to never be filled or truly satisfied... permanently.
2. True or False. Two main things I long for: love and hope and I will go at any depths to get them (or avoid them if I have been taught that I was not worthy of them).
3. True or False. I like to be the god of my own life and do things my way when I want and how I want or I like to pick who will be the person, people or group that I want to identify with.

If you've answered yes to all of them (or most of them), ask yourself why is it that a finite being can have a hunger that can never be fulfilled? Why is it that a finite being who evolves to survive as the fittest feels such a deep need for what he cannot touch or truly explain? It doesn't make sense. If we are beings whose focus is to survive on this earth as the strongest and eliminate the weak, why do we battle existential question that go beyond the life that we do have and that is truly is tangible? Shouldn't death only be seen as a fact and not an element of anguish? After all these years of being on earth, you'd think that humanity would have made peace with the fact that the only thing that matters is on this earth is the time that we breathe? So why does the soul experience angst at the idea of finding an explanation for what happens after we are no longer breathing?

Here's the thing, let's assume that the Bible had it right when it said that we were made in God's image. It would make sense that as reflections of God, we would have a touch of Him in us. We were made finite but we were created with a desire for the Infinite; a desire for Him. Only an infinite Being can cause a finite being to desire what is Infinite. Where does that desire come from?

God, who is a God of community (God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, 3 in 1) created us to be in relationship with Him. This is why the craving for the infinite exists. But in Love, He gives us the option to Love Him back; because true love does not control. Just like a child has an innate desire for their parents, so do we have an innate desire for an Infinite Creator. Just like the child needs love from their parents in order to be functional and lead a positive and healthy life later on, so do we as we are weaned from our primary caregivers, realize our need to find love for our souls that will give us a hope and a confidence for the future. Do you see that in so many natural relationships are a reflection of the character of God?

Interestingly, we go to relationships, friendships, careers, substances, create titles for ourselves, and pursue all these things that still leave us empty. We resolve ourselves to the idea that life is not fair or that misery is a state of being that needs to be drowned or quieted through a variety of methods. All these methods work for a time, but they never last. You need more; always more; always more intense than the last time.

If trying to do things to serve and soothe yourself does not work, maybe something needs to change? There is a saying that goes as follows: "Insanity is doing the same thing over again expecting different results." Could it be that all this energy you are putting towards yourself actually be meant for someone else? Maybe someone who is associated with your soul craving of peace, love, and a guaranteed place with your Loving Father up in Heaven?

Lord, You placed this desire in my heart. Please ignite it that I may truly be the devoted lover and worshiper that You had intended me to be. Let me truly be Yours.

In the precious name of Jesus Christ,

Amen.

P.S. I love to listen and I love to talk. If you want to discuss or hear more just shoot me an email :) Hope you're having a nice day, wherever you are.

No matter what, sing on key!

"We are like singers in a large chorus. If the guy next to us gets off key, must we? We can learn to hold our part." - Melody Beattie

ALMOST (saved)

When I Don't Feel Like Praying...

"Nothing can be more foolish in prayer than to rush heedlessly into God's presence and ask the first thing that comes into our mind. When we first come into God's presence, we should be silent before Him. We should look up to Him to send His Holy Spirit to teach us how to pray. We must wait for the Holy Spirit and Surrender ourselves to the Spirit. Then, we will pray correctly.

Often, when we come to God in prayer, we do not feel like praying. What should we do in such a case? Cease praying until we feel like it? Not at all. When we feel least like praying is the time when we most need to pray. We should wait quietly before God and tell Him how cold and prayerless our hearts are. We should look up to Him, trust Him, and expect Him to send the Holy Spirit to warm our heart and draw us out in prayer. It will not be long before the glow of the Spirit's presence will fill our heart. We will begin to pray with freedom, directness, earnestness, and power. Many of the most blessed seasons of prayer I have ever known have begun with a feeling of utter deadness and prayerlessness. But, in my helplessness and coldness, I have cast myself upon God and looked to Him to send His Holy Spirit to teach me to pray. And, He has always done it.

When we pray in the Spirit, we will pray for the right things in the right way. There will be joy and power in our prayer."

- R.A. Torrey (How to Pray, 44-45)

Mature Prayer Life

"There is no more blessed training in prayer than that which comes through being compelled to ask again and again, over long periods of time, before obtaining what we seek from God. Many people call it submission to the will of God when God does not grant them their requests at the first or second asking. They say 'Well, perhaps it is not God's will.'

As a rule, this is not submission but spiritual laziness. We do not call it submission to the will of God when we give up after one or two efforts to obtain things by action. We call it lack of strength of character. When the strong man or woman of action starts out to accomplish a thing and does not accomplish it the first or second  or one-hundredth time, he or she keeps hammering away until it is accomplished. The strong man of prayer keeps on praying until he prays it through and obtains what he seeks. We should be careful about what we ask from God. But, when we do begin to pray for a thing, we should never give up praying for it until we receive it or until God makes it very clear and very definite that it is not His will to give it."

-R.A. Torrey (How to Pray, pp.51)

Discerning God's Voice - JP Moreland

Hardship Fosters Growth - Joanne Jung

Why I'm Not An Atheist - JP Moreland, PhD

A Friend's Words of Wisdom

I was talking with a good friend about the constant fear and battle of trusting God with my life and these are the brilliant words she shared:

"Just because things don't happen the way you want them to and just because things don't happen the way you expect it to doesn't mean that things are not happening the way that God intended it to. We have eyes of the world and we see things according to the world but God is outside of this world and sees the bigger picture." - friend

Allow Me to Re-Introduce the Christ

Paint, sing or write!

“Our truest response to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write, for only in such response do we find truth.”

—	Madeleine L’Engle

Lines Scribbled on an Envelope While Riding the 104 Broadway Bus

There is too much pain
I cannot understand
I cannot pray
I cannot pray for all the little ones with bellies bloated by starvation in India;
for all the angry Africans striving to be separate in a world struggling for wholeness;
for all the young Chinese men and women taught that hatred and killing are good and compassion evil;
or even all the frightened people in my own city looking for truth in pot or acid.

Here I am
and the ugly man with beery breath beside me reminds me that it is not my prayers that waken your concern, my Lord;
my prayers, my intercessions are not to ask for your love
for all your lost and lonely ones,
your sick and sinning souls,
but mine, my love, my acceptance of your love.
Your love for the woman sticking her umbrella and her expensive parcels into my ribs and snarling, “Why don’t you wants where you are going?”
Your love for the long-haired, gum chewing boy who shoves the old lady aside to grab a seat,
Your love for me, too, too tired to look with love,
to tired to look at Love, at you, in every person on the bus.
Expand my love, Lord, so I can help to bear the pain,
help your love move my love into the tired prostitute with false eyelashes and bunioned feet,
the corrupt policeman with his hand open for graft,
the addict, the derelict, the woman in the mink coat and discontented mouth,
the high school girl with heavy books and frightened eyes.

Help me through these scandalous particulars
to understand
your love.

Help me to pray.

- Madeline L’Engle

Strange how you can love...

“It’s a strange thing, how you can love somebody, how you can be all eaten up inside with needing them—and they simply don’t need you. That’s all there is to it, and neither of you can do anything about it. And they’ll be the same way with someone else, and someone else will be the same way about you and it goes on and on—this desperate need—and only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.”

—	Madeleine L’Engle

Knowledge & Truth

“Knowledge is changeable. Truth is eternal. It is disastrous to confuse them.”

—	Madeleine L’Engle

Good thing God is bigger then our deficiencies!

My Prayer, Always...

Be who you are